In recent days the “Love that (once) dare not speak its name” is the one that dare not “shut up” according to some born again Christians, homophobes, and outright prudes.
I recall an era when “gays” were afraid to “come out” and the term “gay” (a softer gentler term) wasn’t bandied about in a carefree manner like it is today in mainstream America.
Today, older “homos” recall that those who chose to pursue a “gay lifestyle” did so in a clandestine fashion during a time I refer to as the “dark ages “ (lest they be harassed, be abandoned by family, lose their job, and-so-forth-and-so-on).
Many share intriguing tales about an era when lonely “outcasts” were forced to sneak down dirty unlit alleyways at the witching hour to pick up a “trick” (I always hated this word, by the way) at a private bottle club with a boarded-up front.
Oftentimes, horny dudes were forced to devise ways to signal interest without being obvious when they attempted to connect in a public place with someone who may have caught their eye (or triggered a boner).
In the beginning, there was the “stare”.
If a guy was interested in hopping in-the-sack, he usually made subtle eye contact from across the room.
For the uninitiated (and inexperienced) it might be difficult signal to decipher, though.
Was he staring at you because he wanted to get "down ‘n dirty", or was he giving 'ya the once-over because he was annoyed that some “fag” was checking him out (a disgusting thought?).
Then, there was the eyebrow, which was a really tricky one to figure out.
If you gazed in a male’s direction and he raised his eyebrows up-and-down ever-so-slightly, maybe it meant he was interesting in doing the nasty.
But, then again, maybe he was just a clueless goofy being friendly!
If you didn’t appear to look “gay”, the prospective date might never entertain the notion, eh?
An intriguing (but potentially dangerous) way to signal your romantic (sexual?) interest was to use the antiquated "gay handshake".
If you reached out to shake a guy's hand - and one of his fingers was bent backwards toward his wrist on the "inside" of the palm - it meant the dude want hot-to-trot.
The first time someone gave me the "secret" handshake, I was a bit startled; in fact, it was a bit of a surreal moment for naive little old me.
"Did he just give me the gay handshake," I wondered to myself in disbelief.
Or, was I imagining it?
I searched his face for additional clues, but he remained "stone-faced".
F**k!
Sometimes being gay was such an ordeal, wouldn't you agree?
By the way, the reason I bring this up is because of an unfortunate incident the other day, which left me a little embarrassed.
I accidentally gave the "gay handshake" to someone I wasn't even interested in!
Just as I was about to slip a key into my pocket, a gentleman strolled over and reached out his arm to offer me up a handshake.
To prevent the key from slipping out of my sweaty palm, without thinking, I curled up one finger to hold the key in place.
Just as our hands joined, it hit me like a bolt of lightning.
OMG!
The dude must have thought I gave him the "gay handshake".
Boy, was I embarrassed.
I managed a grin, tried to act like nothing happened, and excused myself to say hi to an "imaginary" friend allegedly waiting on the other side of the banquet room.
Just betcha the gossip is swirling now, eh?
Don't believe a word of it!
I'm married with kids, after all.
Right!
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